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Ngiyekeleni ngiyahamba (suicide Letter of a rape victim)

ngihambe izwe Lonke ngifunana nawe

ngiphupha ngawe

Ngikhumbula ngalo lolusuku ngivuka ngezintatakusa

ngiphuma ilanga lingaka veli   izinyoni zisalele

nezinkunku zingaka khali

Ilanga lisasithele ngalena kwezantaba ezikude 

Ngangimbethe ingubo emuhlophe qwa

unomndindi wami umhlophe qwa

kanye nami ngiyintombi emhlophe qwa

Ngime ngaphandle kwesango lesistolo sakwaNdlovu

kwaqhamuka imoto

Kwehla umoya wami ngizitshela:

Ziqhamukile ezinye Izintombi!

Yathi ima lemoto lehla kancance ifastela

ngavele ngajaba ngoba lendoda angiyifanisi

Sabipha Isilwane  lasho uvalo enhlizweni yami

Umlilo ophuma emehlweni ayo uvutha njenge isihogo

Ilapha ngobona ukuthi akusekho ngami

ngaqina empini ngasidwa izinyawo

Ngangithi ngiya memeza  

izwi lami lahluleka ukuthata umyalelo wengqondo yami   

 kwawaqa nezinwele ngagcwala amanzi emadolweni

ngaguquza emotweni njenge mbuzi eyohlatswa

Kwezwakala ukhala kwamaqhude

laphakama ilanga  izinyoni zangiculela amagugu, 

zehla izinyembezi njengo mkhizo wase busikha

Konke emvakwalokho kwakuyi mpicabadala

kwaphela konke ngami

Ngezwa ngobudoda bakhe bungiqeda umzimba

Isikhumba

amathambo 

umphefumlo 

ubuntombi bami.

Ilona khe leli langa engalahlekelwa ngalo  

yimpilo 

nokuzithemba

kwathathwa isona lesislwane 

Sengiya valelisa kubo bonke abasekhaya

Nizothola umziba wami ngase mfuleni, 

salani kahle ngiyanithanda Nonke.

Sanele Lasta Mkhize Profile

Lasta’s journey  began in high school inspired by African literature and music, where she started a hip hop club in which the students would recite poetry or hip hop verses. She had always had a passion for literature and storytelling. At the end of high school, Lasta pursued her passion and decided to study film where she studied writing and directing. In varsity she started writing and recording music until, later joining a band called Neo revolt where she wrote music about the ancient world and African Futuristic ideas, the band featured great Author Credo Vusamazulu Mutwa on one of their singles called people of the Sky. 

Lasta later on went on as a solo musician which she still currently is and is now one of the few audio- visual artists if any in South Africa combining music, story and film. Lasta is inspired by all things African, culture, heritage, history and so forth. Her latest single which she wrote and directed titled  Back to the future is a letter to Africa.   Her current album that she is working on “is will” produce a collection of art that she calls Zulu sci-fi, combining story, film and music. 

As a new mother to a baby girl Lasta has started a new chapter in her life of storytelling, one that she hopes will see her daughter living in a safer world than she lives in. Inspired by her daughter, Lasta’s other projects include an African children’s book series and a short film animation inspired by her childhood dreams, nightmares, ancestors, aliens as a Zulu girl.   

Q&A with Lasta:

Why do you write? 

Why do I write? I write to feel, to be free, to heal, to never forget, to remember. I write because I was given the gift to tell the stories of life and beyond in my experience and point of view. I honour my gift through the form of arts I practise. At times I am writing a particular piece so I can  breathe in and exhale my truth, people’s truth, honour life.   

Is there any SA female writer you admire & who?

There are too many writers that I admire in South Africa but from different fields including musicians, authors to screenwriters. Namely; Zamo Mkwanazi: Screenwriter; Amanda Lane: Screenwriter; Bessie Head: Author; Margrethe Poland: Author; Shirley Boje: Author; Miriam Makeba: Composer and Thandiswa Mazwai: Composer. 

What did it feel like writing about the losses of women and children in your mother tongue and your borrowed language for this campaign and anthology?  

The experience of writing in English verses in my mother tongue when writing loss has been an interesting and challenging one. English is a language that we were taught everything in. It is a universal language that I find myself even thinking and dreaming in. Majority of the information we receive is in English, so it has become a first language in approach to most things in life. 

I chose to write the poem in English as most of my poetry exposure has been to English poets. It felt simpler then composing in Isizulu as the approach of my mother tongue comes with a heavy responsibility of writing with pride and grace. Isizulu is a language I learnt from childhood effortlessly and naturally, it is my mother and fathers tongue. But I lost my language due to the education and system media and just life itself with the older I got. With age I spoke less Zulu and rather changed how I spoke Zulu. I had no education in my language though I can speak it but I am not the best Zulu literate. When I joined the band Neo revolt I was challenged by my manager to write in isiZulu and I did, it wasn’t easy but from that day onwards I never looked back. I have since evolved as a bilingual writer. I write a lot of my music in Isizulu as the thought of my language comes naturally now.  The more I grew as an artist I yearned to explore the joy of expressing myself in my mother tongue so I chose to write a Prose on Loss. With prose it allowed the natural free flow of thoughts that captured me and the style allowed me to release a short narrative.